Nostalgia: A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days. (dictionary.com)
In other terms, severe homesickness. Nostalgia is that bittersweet feeling where there is no longer a distinction between happiness and sadness; just an extreme desire to be able to return to a moment in your life when everything was perfect.
This was the feeling that I had when I first stepped into my old house after moving out from it and relocating interstate with my family. This was pit-stop number one in my journey towards Sri Lanka.
I looked around and saw the blossoming roses in the yard and the weeds intruding my back yard. I saw that things were being born, and others were dying.
Life had continued as usual without my presence in this home, and that was a feeling of pure bitterness.
Even the smell of the house struck my mind and produced some fond memories of going home from school after a long summer’s day; the smell of pine and maturing flowers tickling my nose, and ending up in the hallway of my house. The distinct smell of Asian cooking would waft into my face as I entered the door. Just like back then, I inhaled and a breath of fresh air filled my lungs, but in one moment, it almost suffocated me as well. I realised that my memories had grabbed hold of my reality and injected all these wistful desires and feelings into my mind. It was like an indie movie reeling in my mind. I witnessed all my happy memories with my family, especially on those hot and stuffy summer days and whilst that was happening, some Indie pop music was playing in the background.
But then reality struck me as I remembered what actually went on in this household. More shouts and screams were exchanged than laughs, tears were shed often and smiles would be seen only on an occasional basis.
My memories had tricked me into thinking that everything was perfect back then. It had sucked in the smells, sounds and everyday objects that I held so dearly back then and super glued it to my fondness memories of the house. For once in my life, the memories that I wanted to remember came before the ones that I would rather forget.
This leads me to tell you that you shouldn’t rely solely on your memories to be happy, because sometimes, memories are just an illusion. They are an illusion of time. Time seems to distort your view of the past. Somehow, as you mature, you may look on the past and perceive yourself as a immature brat but just as so, you can look on your past and think that it was truly exceptional, when truly, you have no good memories to recall at all.
People say that you should never trust history books as they were written by people. People tend to forget the minor details, but in the end, those details are what make up the whole story.
I hope that nostalgic feeling will be transformed into a feeling of bliss and acceptance of my past in the future.
And as I lay on my old bed tonight in this lonely house, I will remember this remember this fact:
Look back on the past if you must, but remember that you can create more memories in the present, for the future.
In other terms, severe homesickness. Nostalgia is that bittersweet feeling where there is no longer a distinction between happiness and sadness; just an extreme desire to be able to return to a moment in your life when everything was perfect.
This was the feeling that I had when I first stepped into my old house after moving out from it and relocating interstate with my family. This was pit-stop number one in my journey towards Sri Lanka.
I looked around and saw the blossoming roses in the yard and the weeds intruding my back yard. I saw that things were being born, and others were dying.
Life had continued as usual without my presence in this home, and that was a feeling of pure bitterness.
Even the smell of the house struck my mind and produced some fond memories of going home from school after a long summer’s day; the smell of pine and maturing flowers tickling my nose, and ending up in the hallway of my house. The distinct smell of Asian cooking would waft into my face as I entered the door. Just like back then, I inhaled and a breath of fresh air filled my lungs, but in one moment, it almost suffocated me as well. I realised that my memories had grabbed hold of my reality and injected all these wistful desires and feelings into my mind. It was like an indie movie reeling in my mind. I witnessed all my happy memories with my family, especially on those hot and stuffy summer days and whilst that was happening, some Indie pop music was playing in the background.
But then reality struck me as I remembered what actually went on in this household. More shouts and screams were exchanged than laughs, tears were shed often and smiles would be seen only on an occasional basis.
My memories had tricked me into thinking that everything was perfect back then. It had sucked in the smells, sounds and everyday objects that I held so dearly back then and super glued it to my fondness memories of the house. For once in my life, the memories that I wanted to remember came before the ones that I would rather forget.
This leads me to tell you that you shouldn’t rely solely on your memories to be happy, because sometimes, memories are just an illusion. They are an illusion of time. Time seems to distort your view of the past. Somehow, as you mature, you may look on the past and perceive yourself as a immature brat but just as so, you can look on your past and think that it was truly exceptional, when truly, you have no good memories to recall at all.
People say that you should never trust history books as they were written by people. People tend to forget the minor details, but in the end, those details are what make up the whole story.
I hope that nostalgic feeling will be transformed into a feeling of bliss and acceptance of my past in the future.
And as I lay on my old bed tonight in this lonely house, I will remember this remember this fact:
Look back on the past if you must, but remember that you can create more memories in the present, for the future.
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